I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
