why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
