They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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