through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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