That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
