just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
