The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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