OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
