the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
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