please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
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