can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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