They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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