How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
