my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
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