oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
