Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
