Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
