Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Randomize
