She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Randomize
