just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
