Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
