I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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