My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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