and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
