keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
