Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I stole a fireplace last night.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
