Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
