I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Welp...herpes.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
The struggles of a small town man whore
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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