Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Randomize
