im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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