Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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