she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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