I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
i barfeds in our rink
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Randomize
