I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
