You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
