Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
