remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
