I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
