shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
