lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
