I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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