i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
