Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
