buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
