I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
The air was thick with penises
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
