It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
