Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
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