You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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