Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
