Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Randomize
