Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Randomize
