so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
love makes seman taste better
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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