You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
