Welp...herpes.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
